Crocodile Hunter 4-Gambit-The Cajun Charmer
by DarkSabertooth
Summary: Steve Irwin is back again and this time he goes after a certain Cajun.Will Remy Lebeau survive with sanity intact?


"At last my work is complete Raven, and the new clone of Steve Irwin is just as irritating as the old one was. Now he's ready to go out into the world and fulfill his destiny."

"I've got to hand it to you Essex. It really is a most diabolical, depraved and cruel plan that I love it."

"Yes, I will send him after the X-Men and my other enemies one by one. He will annoy them so much that they will either go insane or surrender to me just to escape him. I already have my first new target for my resurrected Australian."

"Who do you have in mind Essex?"

"Why who else but my dear old friend Remy LeBeau, lets see how the Raging Cajun withstands the Annoying Aussie."

With that Mr. Sinister and Mystique shared an evil laugh before settling down with some fine wine and a good film.

"G'day again viewers and I've got a special treat for all you ladies out there. Yes today we're going to meet a really gorgeous critter known as the Cajun Charmer."

Steve Irwin was presently outside a rather high class nightclub where many beautiful women could be found. With wine, music, dancing and especially women this was the natural habitat for the Cajun. The camcorder lingered over one woman in particular who turned out to be familiar to Steve.

"Crikey what's Terri doing with the Canadian Wolverine? Come to think of it I don't want to know."

Then sauntering out of the nightclub with a beautiful young lady hanging of each arm was Remy LeBeau himself. As always he was stylishly dressed and the tuxedo suited him perfectly. The collar of the expensive silk shirt sported quite a few lipstick marks and one woman's hand seemed permanently attached to his chest.

Remy's devil eyes glinted behind the shades as the other woman kissed him on the cheek. Of course he would be in a lot of trouble if Rogue found out what he was up to but the danger was all part of the attraction. After all he couldn't help it if women kept throwing themselves at him.

Remy stopped and shooed away the women while he decided on his next cause of action. Stroking his stubbly chin he was lost in thought and never realized the danger until it was far too late.

"Merde!" yelped Remy as Steve leapt on him and wrestled him to the ground.

"Well just look at this gorgeous Cajun Charmer. He's a beautiful boy and that's no mistake. You're alright mate."

"Sorry you not Remy's type, so Remy will ask you nicely to get off him."

Ignoring the Cajun's protests, Steve tore off the shades revealing Remy's red on black eyes. 

"Check out these eyes. These are really neat and according to some people if he gazes at you with them he's able to charm you into doing anything he wants. Of course you don't need any charm power because you're gorgeous already."

Then he kissed Remy on the nose. Remy was trying desperately to use his aforementioned empathic power on the Aussie. Unfortunately this power only worked on intelligent beings. 

"Look at this gorgeous luxuriant chestnut hair. I bet a lot of the ladies like to run their fingers through it. Now we'll get a good close up of those eyes again. I bet I can get some good money from some women's magazines to make Remy their pin up."

"Dis Cajun is not for sale mon ami."

With that Remy used his biokinetic powers on the camera causing a major explosion which hurled both him and Steve through the air. Remy cursed as he saw his clothes were now in shreds while Steve escaped without a scratch.

"Crikey that's quite a bang he packs with that. Now he's able to convert the potential energy of an object to kinetic energy causing explosions like the one earlier. He usually uses playing cards like the ones he's getting out now."

Then in a rare display of common sense Steve ran like hell with a veritable hail of cards following him. The Crocodile Hunter was not to be deterred for long and soon he was back with another camcorder. Remy knocked it out of his hands with his bo staff but Steve had one last trick to play.

"Get a load of this," said Steve as he held up a photograph of Rogue kissing Magneto.

Momentarily stunned by the horror Remy was helpless as Steve leapt at him once more; wrestling the Cajun to the ground and preparing to take some really close up shots.

"Fortunately with his tattered threads he's going to look even more sexy and rugged for the ladies. Now if I can just get his shirt off."

Then a burst of highly energized plasmoids blew the Aussie straight through a wall. Remy gazed up into blue eyes as his rescuer helped him to his feet. Popping her gum Jubilee looked him over and then kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you chere, Remy owes you big time for dis."

"Hey Gumbo what else are friends for but if you take me shopping to the mall tomorrow I'd really be grateful."

"Dat Jubilee is a promise."

Meanwhile Steve had ended up on Logan's lap and he had just caused the feral to spill his beer all over his new flannel shirt. Logan growled deep in his throat and popped out his claws. We shall draw a curtain on the dreadful scene that followed in the nightclub.


End file.
